Bluegrass football challenge

The Sultan of Smack band is planning a return trip to the studio. Were gonna try to cut about a 5 song album.
Here is the challenge.

You losers come up with a pair of lines that rhyme making fun of pro sports mostly football (I suppose McGwire and Clemons could use a bustin)

We'll pick out the best ones and the boys will put it to bluegrass music.


Example although I don't think its very good:

TO's up in Buffalo where you know its really cold
Been threw out of 3 places before they had to fold

Coach Oz is the big house, sportin' that Maize and blue!
Though he still swears that he's a buckeye through and through.

The Basement will be hoppin on Football Friday nights,
Listening to the Sultan and hosting title fights.

Just realized you said pro football. I work on some of them.

Thought we might try to make one this time we could take outside the area. If we can come up with some funny ones we can make it work.

Ok, I'll work on some.

You losers can't think of any or just aren't interested?

I've been preoccupied this week and haven't had much time for trolling the message boards. I haven't forgot about it though. Looks like interest is starting to dwindle though on the site. We need a good title fight or something to get things fired back up on here. What else am I gonna have to do until football rolls around.

I'm not a good rhymer.

I have an idea for an entire song, but haven't had the opportunity to write it down other than some rough ideas. Maybe after being snowed in all this coming weekend, I'll get it done

ppv uf in the basement on sat. That would be a good time for a rematch

Warpig wrote:

I have an idea for an entire song, but haven't had the opportunity to write it down other than some rough ideas. Maybe after being snowed in all this coming weekend, I'll get it done

If you have a song I would love to see it. Gordon Gifford's sister is a music person and she has a great song called "El Camino." I'm trying to talk her into letting us record it.

SultanofSmack wrote:

You losers can't think of any or just aren't interested?

I don't like bluegrass....maybe cause I don't have a big pick-up truck, or maybe cause I've never slept with my daddy's sister, I just don't like it.

The whole album is not going to be blue grass.

I firmly believe in the Robert Earl Keen school of thought that the best bluegrass songs are about death, curses, dismemberment, and possibly torture. In that spirit, I roughed out a song about the Cleveland Browns being a career serial killer on draft day, but left my notes at work. So here is more of a poem that someone with some talent could possibly turn into a song that I jotted down about an hour ago.

The Curse of George Plimpton

Frazee is a house hold name
for sending the Babe away
And when the Bo Sox couldn't win
it was the curse they'd all say

Those Cubbies of Chicago
still can't get the job done
but we know all about a goat
and how it ruined Chi-town's fun

So what about those others
wrapped up in futility?
Is their an explanation
far from the eye to see?

The Lions put the D in Detroit
which always delivered pain
with Alex Karras on the line
and the legend Night Train Lane

Their speed and their power
surely made opponents shiver
you couldn't stop the silver and blue
of the Lions by the river

Then George Wilson decided
to let a journalist QB
and for the next 50 years
the Lions were as dead as dead can be

Barry couldn't break the curse
neither could Herman Moore
Then the D got hit by Millen
to add to the Plimpton lore

The Lions sleepwalk through the years
looking for their hero
the one who can finally break the curse
of a Paper Lion wearing zero

That my friend, is pretty damn good.

Pig,
You do realize that I'm going to become stinkin wealthy off of your poem? I won't have to share my riches with you will I?

Needs a chorus:

Its the curse of ole George Plimpton
Oh these Lions have every Symptom

Can Stafford be the one to break the wretched spell
Or are Lion fans doomed to life in hell

sounds good to me.